Independence Day:

Celebrating Real Freedom

 - by Lindsey

I was baptized when I was 16.  I had studied baptism, I had understood what it was all about and it sounded good, so I was baptized and that was it.  

And literally that was it… I have always been a rule follower, so I continued to follow rules. I have always gone to church, I continued going—and got better at it, in fact.  I continued to be self-centered.  I continued to think that God would always be there for me to make requests for myself.   For almost 15 years, I lived continuing to glorify myself and make myself look good in the eyes of others.  I continued to serve ME… oh, don’t get me wrong, if someone heard about Jesus along the way, that was great! After all, it would make me look really good in people’s eyes! I had made a commitment to be a better ME, not a commitment to deny myself and live for God.

Almost a year ago I started learning about discipleship and being an all-in, sold out slave of the Lord.  I made that commitment to change and serve God in everything.  As a result, I so desperately wanted—needed—to be baptized.  Everything I had done before was a lie.  I had held on to my sins, thinking that if I was good enough I could fix them.   I didn’t become a new creation, I still served myself and did what I wanted to do.   I started to question: if there is no intention to change when you are baptized, then are you really a committed disciple and a suitable vessel for the Holy Spirit to come and live in you?  I needed to be baptized, but I hesitated, justified, and talked myself out of it for months.   I wanted to save my reputation… “what would it look like if I were baptized now? What would people say?”

I have been a committed disciple for almost a year now, and I have learned, grown, and changed so much.  But I still had concerns:  If I do not have the Holy Spirit, will I ever get mature enough to bear fruit?   If I am still refusing to give everything to God, then if/when I do bear fruit, will the fruit be a product of/defected by my arrogance and disobedience?  Also, how can I expect to be Jesus to someone when I sit here knowingly disobeying?

I finally realized that God, my salvation, and being cleansed so the Holy Spirit can live in me is much more important than the reputation I was a slave to.  So this Independence Day when we celebrate our national freedom, I decided to celebrate REAL freedom.  I was baptized yesterday, again, and I know that by the grace, love and faithfulness of God, that my sins are washed away, that the Holy Spirit dwells in me, and also that I am officially starting my full time employment as His slave, nothing else!   Please help teach me to be an obedient slave.